He saw it with a sad smile; and kept back his previously written diary. He remembered how he use to cry once, even knew how to laugh and HOW MUCH he wanted those overwhelming phases and nightmares to get over and his life to be a bit more stable.
Today, after months and years gone by; standing in his balcony, he tries to feel even a small fraction of emotions he felt back then, wished that his heart or head would ache but nothing, absolutely nothing stirs inside of him.
Something gradually transformed over time and more than often he did realize the change happening but just watched it in a confused and helpless state.
Laughing out of curtsey, faking anger, doing all the necessary formalities to prove one's existence as a living entity, he somehow manages to pass his everyday now.
No, there was no tragedy or sorrow, just a void that gradually took over his heart and now, has finally started to scream its presence. Pointlessness of everything and every moment in life was beginning to pronounce itself out loud.
"Isn't it something I've always wanted", he thought, "to observe life from a safe distance, be a spectator rather than a player in this gigantic set, then what is it that i need now."
He picks up his empty glass from the railing and goes back to fight his daily battle till the sleep surrenders.
