A monsoon evening...

After a long struggle a few sun-rays did manage to get their way through the thick wall of trees and touch the grass on the ground. It was magical; the way those translucent tips of the grass lit up by the late evening sun, the way light and absolutely still shadows of trees formed patterns on the old nostalgic wall behind it, the way the silence echoed through the long colonnaded courtyard of our hostel where i was standing at the moment. Almost everything around me was magical. The moment was perfectly tranquil and beautiful.

But still it was getting hard for me keeping my thoughts focused at one point. I knew i should have enjoyed the moment but my mind did not obey me. It kept drifting from one thought to another and i hopelessly kept trying to hold it back. In spite of all the hypnotic beauty and perfection of nature around me my mind preferred to create its own world, a sort of a paracosm and stay in it.

Living in this usually unsatisfying world it has gradually developed a habit of escaping in some distant land of its own. And this habit has grown to a level that even when moment of absolute bliss arrive (like the one i was just talking about) it still wanders off somewhere else.

Its a bit frustrating at times; not being able to enjoy the moment i might have. But i think its the way it works, cant just miss out the only parts i want to.

I guess i'll have to just wait till i could really accept the world as it is, with all its ugliness, to enjoy, however little, but perfect beauty left in it.